5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship: Practical Advice for All Couples (Including LGBTQ+)

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Author: Jane, Relationship & lifestyle blogger

Relationships can be beautiful, grounding, and empowering—but let’s be honest, they also take work. I’ve been in a long-term relationship for over a decade now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: love alone isn’t enough. Communication, effort, and a genuine desire to understand each other matter just as much.

Whether you’re in a straight or LGBTQ+ relationship, the core foundation remains the same. But I also know from friends and personal experience that queer couples often face unique challenges—be it societal pressure, family resistance, or lack of relatable role models.

Below are five tips that I’ve either lived through or learned from those I trust. These aren’t vague concepts like “communicate better” or “respect each other” (though those are important too). These are clear, actionable, and rooted in real experience.

Understand That Emotional Safety Comes Before Vulnerability

When my partner and I first moved in together, I assumed we’d naturally talk about everything. But it wasn’t that simple. I noticed he often kept feelings to himself—not because he didn’t trust me, but because he didn’t feel emotionally safe yet. That was a big realisation for me.

Emotional safety is the unspoken agreement that you won’t mock, dismiss, or punish someone for how they feel. It’s the invisible cushion that allows vulnerability to exist.

If you find your partner is holding back during deep conversations, ask yourself:

• Do I react with defensiveness or judgment when they open up?
• Do I make space for emotions I don’t fully understand?
• Do I sometimes try to fix things too quickly instead of just listening?

You can build emotional safety by using phrases like:

• “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
• “That must be really tough. I’m here.”
• “You don’t need to explain everything right now. I’m just listening.”

Once your partner feels safe, communication naturally opens up. It’s not instant, but it works like compound interest—small investments of empathy grow over time.

Don’t Underestimate the Power of ‘Small Talk’

Here’s something most people overlook: small talk can be intimacy. I used to think our relationship needed deep, soul-searching conversations every week. But some of our best bonding moments now happen while we’re brushing our teeth, scrolling memes, or arguing over which cereal to buy.

According to a study on relationship satisfaction, couples who engage in frequent light-hearted conversations report higher day-to-day emotional closeness. It’s not about the topic—it’s about the connection.

Try this:

• Set aside 10-15 minutes at the start or end of your day to talk about nothing important.
• Share random observations, a funny video, or how a colleague annoyed you during a Zoom call.
• Use this time as a “no-agenda check-in.” It strengthens your everyday bond in a low-pressure way.

You’ll be surprised how much this reduces the emotional distance that can creep in over time.

Fight Fair—Seriously, There Is a Right Way to Argue

No matter how “in love” you are, arguments will happen. The problem isn’t the argument—it’s how you argue.

Early in our relationship, every disagreement escalated because we were both focused on being “right.” Over time, we had to retrain ourselves to focus on being understood instead. There’s a massive difference.

Some ground rules that helped us (and that therapists swear by too):

• No name-calling. Ever.
• Avoid using “always” and “never”—they exaggerate and make your partner defensive.
• Stick to the current issue. Don’t bring up five past mistakes to win the argument.
• Take breaks if things get heated. A 20-minute walk can do more good than a 2-hour yelling match.

Research from The Gottman Institute—a leading relationship research centre—shows that couples who use “repair attempts” during arguments (like humour, taking responsibility, or asking for a pause) are far more likely to stay together.

One trick that worked for us: at the beginning of any disagreement, we’d literally say out loud, “I love you and we’re on the same team. I just need you to hear me out.” It might sound cheesy, but it softened the tone and reminded us we weren’t enemies.

 

Create Relationship Rituals (Even Simple Ones)

Rituals are the glue that quietly holds everything together. And no, they don’t need to be fancy anniversary dinners or couples’ retreats (though that’s great if you can do it).

For us, it’s Saturday morning coffee. No phones, no emails—just a cup of chai on the balcony and a casual chat about whatever’s on our minds. That ritual, which lasts barely 20 minutes, gives our week a small emotional reset.

Relationship rituals could be:

• Cooking together once a week
• Doing a monthly “relationship check-in”
• Sending a voice note every afternoon
• Watching a specific show together—no cheating ahead!

The purpose is simple: consistency. These rituals act as small, predictable pockets of connection. According to therapist Esther Perel, rituals in relationships “anchor us in meaning” and remind us of our shared identity

LGBTQ+ Couples: Build Your Own Blueprint

If you’re in a same-sex or queer relationship, you’ve probably noticed something: society still doesn’t hand us a clear map for what our relationships should look like. That’s both a challenge and an opportunity.

I have two close friends—let’s call them Alex and Ravi—who’ve been together for seven years. They once told me, “We stopped comparing ourselves to straight couples and just built our own rules.” That stuck with me.

Here is some relationship tips for LGBTQ+ couples:

• Talk about what “roles” mean in your relationship, especially if society has boxed you into certain gender norms. Who initiates intimacy? Who manages finances? Who handles family drama? Define your own structure—don’t just default to what’s commonly expected.
• Find supportive communities. Online groups like Reddit’s r/LGBT or platforms like TrevorSpace (run by The Trevor Project) offer both support and shared wisdom.
• Protect your relationship boundaries, especially with family or society. Not everyone will get it—but your priority is your internal health, not outside validation.

And if you’re in a place where being out isn’t safe yet, emotional connection doesn’t have to be public to be real. You can still build a deeply fulfilling relationship in your private world—just remember to communicate openly with each other about those limitations and how they affect you.

Healthy relationships aren’t about perfection—they’re about progress. And the good news? Small, intentional habits can bring big change over time.

If nothing else, start by just talking to your partner today about one thing from this list. You don’t need to overhaul your relationship overnight. Just one honest conversation can open the door to a deeper, more connected bond.